I don’t want to go to bed now
It amazes me how I’m always the last one to go to bed in this house. Is it so weird that I can’t really fall asleep before midnight? Should I, when the parentals keep asking why I don’t go to bed earlier, apologize that my social life doesn’t have a specific time slot? That unlike theirs perhaps mine does continue all day, considering I know people around the world?
You might start to see that this blog post could end up being slightly different that all the other rather depressing posts. I remember when I wrote my very first post for this blog, how I said I’d hope this blog would turn up to be a happy one, one with jokes, where you’d smile and maybe even laugh. So far I haven’t been keeping that promise, seeing that nearly every blog posts was started with me being angry, upset or annoyed about something. To be honest, this probably won’t be any different.
Considering it has been over half a year since my last post I’d probably tell you what I’ve been up to. My life has, in a way, been busy, though at the same time sort of boring. Here’s why.
Last year I managed to get a certificate I need to stay in school, which is just a piece of paper showing you have passes all the first year courses (within a time period of 2 school years) and thus have collected 60 points. That means that I am currently in my third year of school, doing mostly, if not only, second year courses. In short, I have a delay of at least a year. Not that I really care, I’m only 19. So school is mostly the same, perhaps some new friends, and in a way lost some along the way. Yes, yet again.
Perhaps the most changes have been work related. I used to work with a marketing research company, but they fired me. Long story short, I knew too much about the people working there, when a supervisor told me to do something I knew what I could say back, etc. Most of my supervisors didn’t work there as long as I did.
Strangly enough I decided to try my luck at something completely different, jokingly applying for a job at a store. A clothing store to be precise, named after a certain city. At first they were happy with my work, happy with me working there and then suddenly, after three weeks they dropped me. Fired, yet again, within a month. They switched from happy to we’re not sure in less than a week, and thus I was unemployed once again.
Of course, looking for a new job in the middle of an exam week, and even the end of a school year proved to be harder than expected. Finally I ended up applying at an office which was looking for someone who had experience calling people for a living, though they were calling other companies to make appointments, check files etc. I didn’t expect to get hired, but happily enough, they wanted to work with me. They said, even though you’re still in school, we can teach you a lot and we hope you can help us out along the way. I ended up getting a raise there withing two weeks. At the end of my holiday I had to tell them school was starting again and I couldn’t work full time anymore and all they said was, oh ok, can you still keep working here part time? We don’t want to lose you! In other words, I kept on working, part time.
In September I went to Dublin for a week with school, which was great, expensive, but an overal amazing experience. Definitely want to go back.
So what now? It’s currently November and my internship has started, which resulted in 3 days school, two days internship. How to work at an office then? Which is open Monday to Friday from 9 to 5? I don’t. They’ve asked me if I’d like to be put on non-active for the time being, considering my internship is until February. They apparently do not want to get rid of me!
Well, that’s probably what happened the past months. So why a blog with the title ‘I don’t want to go to bed now’? Well, probably because I don’t. It’s weird that I can’t be bothered, so to speak, to go to bed, even though I have a day of internship tomorrow. Not sure if I can do my own classes tomorrow, but that doesn’t change the fact that it can be tiring to help, stand, teach children from 12 to 18. The joy of wanting to be a teacher!
Even when I do go to bed on time I find it hard to fall asleep. It is as if my mind won’t stop working. Besides that I keep hearing stuff. Not as in, I see dead people, but more like hearing my father snore, cars driving by, trains even. to clear that up, there’s a highway close by, which is also besides the railway. My solution to that is just to listen to music, to calm down and in a way get tired. It helps most of the time, but is bound to fail sometimes. Everything does.
Perhaps I should start thinking about finishing this blog post now. What it was that I wanted to tell my readers? No idea, perhaps to show that I’m still alive (and kicking?). I do have some events to look forward too. A new group of friends, good friends, those that hopefully do not walk away at a certain point. Friends I can count on. And with those friends concerts, a few this month actually. Also Christmas together, and New Years too probably. There’s even talk of a road trip through the UK in the summer and going to London for the premiere of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows part 2.
So, even though at times I find my life very boring, I can’t help but think, perhaps life is good. At least right now. After all, we never know what comes between dreams.
~Storm J. Night
listening to The Same Inside by Caitlin Crosby
