Machine Talk

This blog is actually going to be a fun and ‘light’ blog. But before I start I must tell how it was inspired. I was talking to one of my new friends on MSN. Her name is Emily if my dear readers would like to know. We were talking about music, and at the moment my I-pod and laptop as well. You see, not too long ago my I-pod crashed, and so I lost way too many songs. At least 8000 songs were lost, gone perhaps for forever. Oh, Emily is one of my Twitter friends. Twitter had made me able to meet so many sweet and incredibly cool people. (But enough about Twitter).

When we first started joking I said something about my laptop being angry at me. I froze a lot, and I saw a lot of ‘not responding’-s. As a result I said my laptop must be very angry with me at the time, feeling I might have abused it. Why? I was at the moment, downloading a file with the size of 12.4GB. I was doing this, knowing my laptop has little memory left, but I made sure there was some room. Right now, that same file of 12.4GB is still downloading, and perhaps it’ll be finished soon.

Now you might think why my laptop would be angry at me for just downloading such a large file. That’s because of the following; I was downloading a lot of albums as well, sometimes even complete discographies. Yes, I know it’s ‘illegal’, but I use my downloaded music for personal use only, and at least 75% of my downloaded music you can find on a legally bought CD here as well. I once counted how many CDs I have, but I stopped at a certain number with a certain amount of zeros.

So, we decided my laptop was angry, but what if it could really talk as if it were a real person, or a machine with such intelligence that it was capable of interacting verbally with us humans. And so I created in my head a conversation between the machines and gadgets I have in my room. And it was something like this.

Laptop: “For crying out loud, isn’t he finished downloading yet? I have been on all day, just downloading music. I got Tweetdeck open a lot lately, and I keep getting older and slower. Can’t he just turn me of sometimes?”
Television: “At least you are turned on. He only uses me on Monday evenings lately. I used to be watched a lot.”
DVD player: “Yawn. Always your boring things about not being used. You know what not being used it. Having you, Lance(the laptop), to play DVDs now. I used to work together with Ted (the TV) here. Movie after movie would be watched. For crying out LOUD, look at the dust on me. If I would have lungs I’d get an asthma attack here.
External hard disk: “I don’t even know what you are talking about. I have been here for a week or two now, and I’m being used. He stores so many lovely files on me. Can’t you hear all those lovely songs in me? I can’t play them myself though, I need Lance’ help for that.
Stereo: “Remember those times?”
Laptop: “What times?”
Stereo: “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to Ted and Dan (the DVD player).
DVD and TV: “What times?”
Stereo: “When they didn’t exist in this room. We would be used so much, I would have three CDs in me to play, you either a DVD or a nice TV program.
External hard disk: “That must’ve been a while, right gramps?”
TV: “Don’t be so cocky Emma. You can break easily with those wires and thingies in you.”
Stereo: “Good one Ted, new gadgets should respect the older machines. We were here first.”
Laptop: “I got a plan, I’m so going to change some settings soon. Perhaps turn of sound, or images. Make him pay for his abuse. Let me mentally abuse him.
I-Pod: “I already am broken. Don’t know how, but my sound plug is acting weird. I heard Master say he only gets sound with the left ear plug, while they both work with Lance or Steven.”
Stereo: “True, the earplugs work when I use them, same goes with Lance. Hope he doesn’t…”
I-Pod: “Doesn’t what?”
Nintendo 64: “Replace you, that’s what he wants to say, but he’s too polite. I don’t do polite. I still have some weird game in me with a bear and an egg shooting bird.”
I-Pod: “But I have served Master for three years, surely he will get me fixed?”
Phone: “He has been a loyal gadget. I have been with him for a while now, with Master and I-Pod and we both get used a lot during the day. We like it.”
Laptop: “Yeah, but you are both replaceable, not that expensive compared to us.” P
hone: “True…”
I-Pod: “I don’t want to be replaced. I’ll work now. See I work. I think.”
Laptop: “Someone make sure he isn’t crashing again. He’s the reason I had to download so much again. User was angry with him when he crashed. Still don’t know why…”
Phone: “I know I will be replaced soon, that’s just the way my life goes. Go from one user to the other… That’s just machine life.”
Stereo: “Shht! I think I hear someone!”
Nintendo 64: “With those speakers working as ears, hard to miss anything. Ha!”
DVD player: “All machines and gadgets stand-by.”

…

Desk light: “False alarm guys.”
Laptop: “You awake again?”
Ceiling light: “Obviously… “
I-Pod: “I fell asleep sorry. Philip (the phone), will you keep me awake please?”
Phone: “Uh, ok?”
Laptop: “I will abuse him soon. Yes. Definitely. Make him pay.”
TV: “I can’t wait until it’s Monday. Some nice shows are on then. I will get used again!”
DVD player: “Thanks for boasting…”
Stereo: “I know right…”

So, that’s sort of what happened it my weird head. Big fantasy I have. Who knows what weirdness may sprout out of me?

Storm J. Night

Currently listening to Drifter from Little Paper Flags

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~ by azarath on September 22, 2009.